December 2023, Week 3

 *Today at church my heart was very tender.  I found out just before midnight that my dear friend, former roommate, and Maid of Honor Pat Tejada had passed away from a second fight with thyroid cancer on Friday.  How do you make sense of that??  Cancer is no respecter of persons, but in my world, it has taken the best of the best.  I hadn't had time to process it, as we had to get to church at 8:30 am for choir practice.  Our ward was presenting the two choir numbers a week early, since many of us would be out if town on the following Sunday.  I got to sing for the first number, but had to play the piano for the second ("Oh, Holy Night"), and I needed to be focused for that.  But before that song, we had a speaker.  He started with saying that he needed us to know that we are in the true church of Jesus Christ, that He lives, and that His Atonement is real.  A simple testimony that I've heard countless times, but it meant a lot to me in that moment.  I saw that I needed to hold on to the Atonement as one who is grieving, and to try to find peace to make "sense" of her death.  I didn't see the end of the process, but I remembered there was a path, and Who was on it with me.  

*The speaker also said he was asked to summarize what the gospel of Jesus Christ meant to him.  Before he gave his answer, I thought of one word: peace.  His own answer was hope, and I fully agree with that.  Before the service began, I was thinking that I didn't feel very Christmas-y any more.  But  the hope that came with that baby boy is the reason that there IS Christmas, and this was my unfortunate opportunity to have to reconcile and remember and apply this to my situation.

* I wasn't particularly nervous to play the song, even though in our practice I had not done as well as I would have liked.  My mind was just not engaged enough.  I didn't want to distract from the Spirit,  though, so I prayed for help.  It wasn't perfect, but it was enough.

*I taught our Primary class about Revelation 8-14, but focused on the cloud of darkness from the pit that represents temptations, and the tools we've been given to overcome them.  I shared a video about how sometimes when we're in the deepest darkness, the Lord will send someone with light to help us out.  Sometimes we're the ones being sent to help others out of darkness.  I often feel that's my role.  But I'm grateful for those that come get me, and let me use their light for a bit.

*Caytie and I sang in our Stake Christmas concert in the evening. I love participating in this whenever I can, so the words and music are in my mind all season.  There was a duet presented that I hadn't heard before, and it really touched my heart, especially with Pat on my mind.  I want to share the words here:

Somewhere In Your Silent Night

By Casting Crowns

All is calm and all is bright
Everywhere but in your heart tonight
They're singing carols of joy and peace
But you feel too far gone and too far out of reach

Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night

From heaven's height to manger low
There is no distance the Prince of Peace won't go
From manger low to Calvary's hill
When your pain runs deep
His love runs deeper still
He has always loved you, child
And He always will

Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night

Lift your head
Lift your heart
Emmanuel will meet you where you are
He knows your hurt
He knows your name
And you're the very reason that He came

Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night

Love will find you
Ooh, love will find you
Love will find you

It was a delight.

December 2023, Week 2

 *Today at church during the Sacrament I was thinking of the different names of Christ that we've learned in our New Testament studies this year.  The name Advocate from 1 John 2:1 was at the front of my mind during the prayers.  I'm grateful for that perspective of knowing there is Someone on my side, fighting for my cause.  We had the missionaries over for dinner last week and we talked about what our favorite name of Christ.  That day, for me it was Emmanuel, or God With Us.  Again I am grateful to know that I am known, I am heard, I am loved, and when I repent,  I am forgiven-- by my Savior, who is WITH ME.

It was a delight.

December 2023, Week 1

 *Today at church I had an opportunity to substitute on the organ, which I haven't had to do for a while.  I appreciated the opportunity to sit on the stand for a bit, because I got to see who was there that day.  Our family usually (always) sits on the 4th row, and then I head to Primary, so I don't always see who is at church each Sunday.  I saw friends that I thought might not be coming any more, which was tender, and others were not there, which was also tender.  I love my ward.  I miss being in Relief Society sometimes.  But I do love Primary.

It was a delight.

November 2023, Week 4

 *Today at church we talked about 1st and 2nd Peter in Primary.  Ben gave everyone one of the activity pages, which are generally geared for Junior Primary kids, but they were surprisingly engaged, finding people in the picture who were glorifying God by doing good works, which is tied into 1 Peter 2:9-12.  It was nice to see the very active boys in our class participate.  And then, as soon as we were in Singing Time, the papers were all turned into airplanes and sent across the room, so I had to collect them all.  Baby steps.

November 2023, Week 3

 *Today at church the Primary practiced a new song I hadn't heard before called "Thankful," by Shawna Belt Edwards. It is simple and so sweet.  I noticed it was written in 2020, our pandemic year, so it was extra meaningful to think of being grateful for the hand of God in all parts of our life.

*In my Primary class, we talked about James 1:5 and the impact it had on Joseph Smith, and therefore all of us.  Just like on my mission, testifying of him and the visit he had from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ made my heart fill with joy and assurance of the truth.

It was a delight!

November 2023, Week 2

 *Today at church the youth speaker talked about how we can know we are known and loved by God.  She mentioned that this was hard for her to do, which at first I thought, "How could such a sweet, good person not know they are known and loved by God?"  Then I thought back to being a youth, and remembered that yes--it is sometimes HARD to learn how to feel Him and to feel His love.  It's when most of us start to feel alone in the world, for whatever reason, and we have to actually start applying all the things we have been learning up to then.  She shared some sweet examples of when her prayers were answered, and how she felt God's love through that, and I think that is an excellent reminder of looking to see His hand, even when we can't see His face.

*A brother (who is a father of four young girls with an awesome art teacher wife) spoke about President Nelson's talk from conference called "Think Celestial."  He said that most of the time, when people ask how he's doing, he replies with, "I'm surviving."  He said he's trying to change his habits through "thinking celesital" to move from a survival mindset to a thriving mindset.  I thought that was good advice.

*The final speaker is a new sister in our ward, who is pretty quiet, so I haven't even seen her before.  (Being in Primary has a few drawbacks.)  She was very vulnerable about some struggles with depression, and shared how people in her life answered prayers to help her through.  I hope I can be sensitive to the Spirit to help people when needed, and willing to ask for help myself if that need arises.

It was a delight!

November 2023, Week 1

 *Today at church I enjoyed listening to the testimonies of members of my ward.  Several older siblings helped younger siblings, and it is sweet to see their desire to help and to testify of the Spirit they feel in their lives.  In January our Bishop declared this year the year of miracles, and people have been sharing the miracles they've seen, big and small.  One small miracle I've had is that I finally went to see a chiropractor for my aching tail bone, and I'm able to sit through church (and stand up again) without sharp pains.  The pain is still there, but much, much less intense.

*In Primary, we wrote notes to Kara Webb, a sister in our ward with lung cancer that has spread to the point that she will be entering hospice care this week. I knew Kara when she was the Stake Young Women's President and I was the Stake Primary President, and heard her testify of tender things in our Stake Counsel meetings.  About two years ago she moved with her daughter's family into our ward.  She has been stalwart through her cancer battle, doing her calling even while in a hospital bed, and the last time I visited with her, she wanted all the news of my kids, who she doesn't even really know, instead of talking about herself.  Heaven is about to gain an angel back, but we are about to lose one.  The kids' notes were so sweet.  I hope they bring her a little relief.

It was a delight!

*Update: Kara passed away on Tuesday morning. 💔